And there's a girl on a Mac Air, wearing some kind of jacket that seems to mostly consist of feathers, and she's studying pictures of men with immaculately clipped beards who are drinking beer and playing croquet.
She drinks tea in the middle of the bar and restaurant. Tea, because she can't concentrate on the beards or the croquet with a head full of beer or wine. Or maybe she is so loaded on heroin and etsy-as-a-positive-career-move that anything else doesn't have that zing apart from the morning ritual of the triple espresso assfuck. Rich kids aren't what they used to be.
What led her to this, I wonder? In what channel of the screaming great Pantheon of choices in life do you wind up eschewing alcohol and looking at hipsters being ultra-gentrified; instead of a baseball bat they are hefting a mallet. You poor, sick, lost schmuck.